How Often Do Gay Couples Have Sex?

How often do gay couples have sex? Two, three, maybe four times a week? How many times does a heterosexual couple have sex? I did a little research and what I found out might surprise you.

Sexual Expectations

It’s not unusual to equate the health of a relationship with how frequently you’re having sex. When relationships settle in over the years, the frequency of sex can decrease, giving rise to increasing insecurities.

But the Washington Post reported in 2015 on a study that found that gay men in same-sex relationships tend to communicate better than heterosexual couples, particularly when their relationship may be troubled, and other statistics seem to indicate that this may result in them having sex more often, even as the relationship ages or runs into difficulty.

The Reality

In truth, straight, married couples have sex about seven times a month. Do the math. That’s works out to less than twice a week. So if that’s the par for you in a gay relationship, you can take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in what may seem like a stalled run.

So what’s going on? Regardless of sexual orientation, sex drives are at their peak when we’re young, so age has something to do with it. If you and your partner are in your late fifties, you might find that you’ve slowed down a little since you were in your twenties.

And as mentioned, both gay and straight couples tend to have sex less frequently in long-term relationships. A “sex rate” of three times a week or more for gay couples in the first two years of a relationship is almost 70 percent. It drops to less than 50 percent for straight couples and to about 33 percent for lesbian couples.

In other words, gay men in short-term relationships have about 20 percent more sex than straight men in shorter relationships, and more than double that which lesbian couples are enjoying.

But the numbers nosedive for couples who have been together 10 years or longer: Just above 10 percent of gay couples still have sex three times a week, under 20 percent of heterosexual couples enjoy this frequency, and this drops to about 1 percent for lesbians. The stats were gathered from various studies that took place from the late 1990s through 2011.

Increasing Your Sexual Frequency

Life happens, and if your romping scores below average, there could be a number of reason why. Work stress, relationship strain, personal issues and other things can lessen the libido or simply reduce the time you have available for intimacy.

Gay couples may have an edge over heterosexual couples in this respect, too, because that study reported on by the Washington Post also found that gay couples who live together divide household chores and responsibilities more equally between them, rather than assign them gender-wise. Less work can mean more play when neither partner is overloaded.

No matter why your sex life is dragging, there are ways you can improve it and increase your sexual compatibility with a little effort.

 After all, better chemistry leads to better sex.